Should Your Identity and Opinions be Separate? Yes.

One thing I have learnt from my little life review sessions is that I have changed over the years. I like to think that with more experiences I have become a more mature and better person. 

"I've decided to start writing again, not to try and be more professional, but to try to be... less embarrassing." 

With my reattempt at writing I hope to post content that is interesting, thought-provoking, and educational. Something that has been on my mind recently is the misconception many people have on the relationship between their identity and opinions. As the title suggest, I do not think people's identities should be bound to their opinions, but rather they should be separate entities. I have three points I'd like to discuss and you can see what you think. 

1. Identity and opinion are not the same thing. 

If we look at the definitions of identity and opinion we can clearly see that they are different. My good ol' oxford american dictionary tells me that identity is defined as "the quality or condition of being a specified person or thing; individuality; personality." Whereas opinion is defined as "a belief or assessment based on grounds short of proof; a view held as probable; what one thinks about a particular topic." 

Your identity is what describes you, from the way you speak to the colour of your skin. As you grow up and become an adult your identity becomes more defined. Identities do not have the tendency of changing once you're past a certain age. 

Our opinions stem from our desire to converse and discuss with other people. This leads to either agreement or disagreement. In short our opinions are our thoughts, not our being. Unlike our identity our opinions should always be able to change if they are seen to be wrong or less ideal. This brings me to my next point. 

2. Identity bound by opinion stops us from seeking the truth. 

That's a pretty bold statement to make, but with some clarification I'm sure you'll follow me. Many people tell me that their opinions make up their identity, and that's alright to an extent. It's true that we zero in on our individuality by being exposed to new ideas and experiences, and through that exposure we might make our own opinions on life. However, the problem arises when you find out your opinions aren't as great as you thought they were. 

As I've said before our opinions always lead to either agreement or disagreement. It's always okay to disagree with people. Personally, I loved Sham Hammer's The Last Airbender and find it a great comedy. However, that's not the same as thinking that "you can stop taking your antibiotics once you feel better", or believing that "brushing your teeth after breakfast is the way to go". These are small things, which many people still do, that have been proven to be wrong. You should be able to scratch your old opinions and step into the light. 

What about the big stuff? Gay marriage, death penalty, evolution and all that? Well the same thing applies. You can be a faithful God breathing Christian and still understand and admire the theory of evolution and adaptive advantage. I think we should always be striving to find out what is true, and that can be very difficult if it means we destroy who we are in the process. The thing is, we don't need to. You can still be yourself while holding opinions that stem closer to the logical and true. 

3. People make assumptions about your personality based on your opinions and vice versa. 

Let me give you two illustrations, and please forgive the minor exaggerations: 

Anne, Ben, and Cathy are the best of friends. They always love having dinner parties. Anne and Ben end up getting married and they have kids. Cathy is sad because she thinks that Anne and Ben won't come to her dinner parties anymore because they have kids. She assumes this and thus never asks them again. This is an example of where Anne and Ben's "combined identity" gave Cathy the impression that married couples don't like having fun anymore. The problem here is the assumption. Even if Cathy were right, she shouldn't have assumed that she was. 

Cathy starts inviting Anne and Ben to dinner again. She wants her dinners to be adults only but doesn't want to tell Anne and Ben to leave the kids at home. Instead she gives subtle hints like the time, venue, or menu of the dinner to stave off the couple's need to bring their children along. Why doesn't Cathy just tell her friends? Well she doesn't want them to think she hates kids. This is an example of when your opinions cause others to reflect on your identity. Cathy may not hate kids, she just doesn't like them in her house or screwing up the bonding time with her besties. 

"But wait! Aren't hating kids and not wanting kids at a party both opinions? How can you say one opinion reflects identity when both are really opinions! AHA!" 

Well that's the point now isn't it. If we think that our opinions make up our identity, then people end up mixing up the two and make invalid assumptions. Identity and opinion are two very different things. They are different in order to allow us to retain individuality while being able to seek the truth. If we bind these things together then we ourselves will end up bound to them as well. It doesn't foster personal growth, but hinders it. 

What's ironic is that this is all just my opinion. What do you think? Should your identity and opinions be separate? Let me know in the comments.